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Topic: Adventures in a Grocery Market--Pokemon One-Shot (Read 314 times)

§harra Kat
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Joined: Sept 2007
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Adventures in a Grocery Market--Pokemon One-Shot
« Thread Started on Sept 24, 2007, 7:59pm »

Adventures in a Grocery Market
Pokemon One-Shot FanFic

Phrases I must use:
-1. Too cheesy.
-2. I want one!
-3. No way!
-4. YES WAY!
-5. How about this one?
-6. Nuuu!!! Not CLOTHES SHOPPING!! GAH!!!!
-7. Not the shopping cart!
-8. Hop in the car.
-9. AAAHHH IT BUURRNZZ MEH EEYEES
-10. Oh look, ketchup!
-11. You mean catsup.
-12. Spiderpig, Spiderpig, does whatever, a spiderpig does...
-13. Ahahaha, you can jump over a pig!
-14. Since when did you grow a mustache?
-15. CAN you even grow a mustache?!
-16. ZOMG I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LEFT ME TO DIE IN THE CLOTHES SHOP
-17. I rock your sox.
-18. w45svp d4wg, 1m s0 1337
-19. Ugg, I'm so tired. I haven't had my daily dose of computer radiation yet.
-20. Monkeys can do the chimme changa

Phrases 1-8 provided by Zey
Phrases 9-20 provided by Koruji

Rating
M for Mental

Comments
{x}

Main Characters
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Other Characters
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Adventures in a Grocery Market

Dark eyes glitter in the darkness, illuminated by a pikachu's electricity, sitting not too far away, a lampshade stuck around its neck, as if forced there. The rodent's left eye twitched, and it had a distant expression on its face. The shadowed figure stepped partially into the light, her figure cat-like, with a strange spiked crest on her back. Slowly, as she stepped closer to the, erm... lamp, her features began to change. The crest on her back seemed to disappear, her coat turning into a soft shade of lavender, an ankh marking on her head replaced with a red gem. The pikachu's expression slowly changed to one incredulous and dumbfounded.
"No way!" he exclaimed in disbelief. Espeon's mouth twisted into a peculiar grin...
"YES WAY!" she retorted, looking particularly energetic, ecstatic due to the fact that she was actually given a part in this fic. She was afraid that herself, the author, wouldn't let her in, but she managed to persuade her.
"You have a Pokemon form too, Sharra?" asked Pikachu.
"It's Espeon here," she corrected, pausing, "I have many forms." she said rather cryptically. Pikachu just blinked rapidly a few times, remaining silent for a stretching moment.
"So, um..." he looks towards the strange creature reading this text and pokes the screen, "Why are we here? Why is that... thing staring at us? Why have I been turned into a lamp?"
"To reduce the electricity bill cost." she said in a monotone, wall-eyed, though it was hard to tell considering she had no pupils.
Pikachu waddled a few steps closer to poke her head with a finger, directly on the gem. "Are you going to answer my other questions?" he asked as politely as possible.
"........." She stared, eyes perfectly round, and fixed on the lampshade collar. Pikachu sweatdropped.
"Erm.... you're starting to freak me out."
"I want one." she said with frightening seriousness.
"Um.... you can have it back if you can get it off... I mean, it is yours, right? You were the one who forced it on around my neck...." his words trailed off, and Espeon blinked, looking perplexed, as if she had just been in a trance.
"Did you say something?"
"No." Pikachu sighed, slapping a paw against his forehead. Espeon scratched her head, looking as confused as ever. The entire room remained black, other than the two Pokemon, since the author was too lazy to pick and describe a setting. Espeon reached next to her, producing a weedle, clutched in her paws.
"Hop in the car."
"That's.... a weedle." Pikachu took a cautious step back from the lunatic espeon. Espeon put her paws on her hips, still grasping the weedle.
"Young man, get in the car right now!" she scolded, "We're going shopping; you know all of your clothes are getting too small!"
"NOOOO! Not clothes shopping! GAH!" wailed Pikachu, though suddenly remained silent for a moment. "Wait--I don't wear clothes, and neither do you!" Gasping, Espeon dropped Weedle, who had a vacant expression on his face.
"HOLY -BEEP-! I forget to put on -BEEP- clothes today!" Espeon collapsed to the ground, pretending to faint.
"Beep?" Pikachu questioned her.
"No! No!" she lay an arm across the bridge of her muzzle. "I didn't say beep, I said -BEEP- and -BEEP-!" Pikachu blinked. "Oh, forget it." She leaped to her feet, snatching the weedle and holding him in the crook of her arm. "Me and Bob," (Bob was apparently the weedle,) "Are going to the video game store without you!" she stuck out her tongue, then turned to walk on her hind legs, towards a white door in the middle of the emptiness.
"Video games? You said clothes..." Pikachu, hesitant at first, followed after her because of tempting thought of video games. When they both stood there, staring dumbly at the door, there was a long, awkward silence. Suddenly, Espeon opened the door, shoving Pikachu inside.
"Hey! Ladies first! You're so rude!" she yelled, padding in behind him, the weedle remaining silent throughout this scene--what a surprise.
"You pushed me i--WHAT THE?! You said video game store! This is the grocery market!" He turned back, but the door was gone. Espeon grinned dumbly like she normally did, and bounced off down one of the isles, disapearing out of sight. Sighing heavily, Pikachu started off in a different direction, feeling alone despite the occasional Pokemon walking by, pushing a cart.
He eventually found himself in the seafood area, watching a tank full of Krabby.
"May I help you?" asked an obnoxiously cheery voice.
"Eh?" asked Pikachu, glancing up, "OK.... that's just wrong... a fish selling seafood." He flashed Whiscash a disturbed look, and it stared back with unblinking eyes. "Um... no thanks...." He slowly took a step back, and jumped as a voice squeaked out loudly.
"AHHH! IT BURNS MEH EYES! This water has chlorine in it!" squealed a Krabby, voice shrill. It leaped up and out of the water, somehow, landing direction on Pikachu's head. Normally, the rodent would have yelled, but by now, he was used to the extremely peculiar things that happened in this fic.
"Fine." he sighed, looking to the Whiscash, "How about this one?" he pointed to the Krabby clutching on to his head. The Whiscash stared back with a moronic grin, saying nothing. "OOK...." Pikachu took a few more paw-steps back, then turned around completely and ran for it. The Whiscash sat there for about thirty more seconds, after that period of time, it's eyes beginning to glow red and flashing. The fish opened its mouth wide, and spoke without moving its lips.
"THIEF! THIEF!" it chorused, and a hoard of Wurmple began to slowly ooze up and over the counter from behind it.
Pikachu, who had reached the snack isle before the Wurmple had even gotten to the other side of the sea food display, sat down and muttered to himself.
"Since when did you grow a mustache?" Krabby piped.
"Huh?" Pikachu felt his upper lip, and sure enough, there was hair, and jumped to his feet.
"How do you do that? Huh? Huh? How can you grow a mustache? CAN you grow a mustache?"
"Shut up!" yelled Pikachu, panicking. 'I do not look good with facial hair.' "I need to get to the bathroom-related isle and get a razor blade and shaving cream, stat!" He dashed off.
Meanwhile....
"WHOOO! WHOO HOO! YA! I didn't know monkeys could do the chimme changa!"
"First of all, we're not monkeys. We are Aipom; get it right. And second of all, we're just sitting here." a peeved looking Aipom out of a group of three, told Espeon.
"Oh." responded Espeon simply, pausing. "Meet Bob!" She stuck the Weedle right up in their faces, and the leader recoiled in disgust.
"Y0, w45svp d4wg, 1m s0 1337!!!1111SHIFT!!!11!" said the weedle, mouth a perfect o shape. The Aipom sweatdropped, wondering how it was possible to speak in numbers, though decided to stay silent in fear that the Espeon might not leave them alone.
"Welp, me'n Bob have some errands to do! See ya' later!" Espeon waved, then turned and ran on all fours, Bob riding on her back.
Elsewhere.....
"Oh look, ketchup!" exclaimed a Charmander.
"You mean catsup." corrected a Bulbasaur.
"Whatever...." Charmander turned and blinked, "Umm.... do you see it, too?" Bulbasaur looked in the same direction.
"That weird Pikachu with shaving cream covering his entire face, and a Krabby on his head waving around a razor? Yah...."
"I can't see! This stuff burns my eyes!" He waved around his arms frantically, trying to get the razor from Krabby. Grumbling, he tried to wipe as much cream as he could, off his face, spitting some out of his mouth. "Yuck!"
"Mustache is gone! Mustache is gone!"
"But I didn't even shave it yet." He felt where the mustache once was, finding it was gone.
"Should I be surprised?" he mumbled.
"ZOMG I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LEFT ME TO DIE IN THE CLOTHES SHOP!!"
"ACK!" Pikachu whirled around as something screamed at him, and he found himself face to face with Espeon, her eyes wide. "Wait... we never even went to the clothes shop..." In response, he got a slap in the face.
"I rock your sox." commented Bob. Espeon angrily shoved Pikachu backwards, and he stumbled, feeling his foot step into something on the ground. Slipping, he fell onto his back, wind knocked out of him.
"Ahahaha, you can jump over a pig!" Espeon keeled over, clutching her sides.
"Pig? Wha?" Pikachu glanced at the object he slipped on, realizing that it was a lump of misplaced pork chops. He didn't bother telling Espeon he slipped, not jumped. There was a flash of green and black, and the pork chops were gone. And that's when he heard it.
"Spiderpig, spiderpig, does whatever a spiderpig does..." There on the ceiling was a Spinarak, clutching the pork in its jaws.
"I'm not even gonna ask..." sighed Pikachu, picking himself up off the ground, rubbing his head. "Ugg, I'm so tired." he moaned, "I haven't had my daily dose of computer radiation yet..." Then, there was music.... in the distance.... Pikachu noticed that Espeon and Weedle were missing. The music... became louder and louder... it had no words, but the tune made it sound sort of inspirational. Pikachu tried to move, only to find that everything was in slow motion. 'What is going on?' And then... it came.
The dreaded.... shopping cart. Of doom.
"Nuh-o-o-o. . ." came Pikachu's voice, deeper than usual, and slow, "Nuh-o-tuh thhhe shh-oop-ping caa-ar-tuh." Translated to, 'Nooo! Not the shopping cart!'
He turned to run, though could hardly move... but then, in an instant, everything sped up, unluckily for the rodent and his crustacean friend. The shopping cart was heading at them at least fifty miles per hour, and sitting in the basket was who else, but Espeon, with Bob. Pikachu was hit, and then everything went black.
Later...
"Ung... Where am I?" asked Pikachu groggily, moving his hand to rub his head, jerking it away as he felt something else. Krabby was still holding on tight, his eyes swirled. Everything around the two was pitch black; nothingness.
"We're back where we started, of course!" chimed an all-too-familiar voice. As if she transported, which was possible considering she was a psychic Pokemon, Espeon popped into view, right in front of him. "So what did you think of this FanFic?"
"FanFic? What are you talking about?"
"Never mind, never mind..." she waved her hands. Bob popped into the scene right next to her.
"Oi think it was wonderful!" he declared. Krabby remained unconscious, and Espeon grinned, waiting for Pikachu's response.
"What do you think of the events today?" she asked, wording it differently.
"Um... painful. And too cheesy." Espeon shrugged loosely.
"Whatever... I hope you're ready for tomorrow's strange adventure. Get some rest." She pointed to a door, colored blue.
"Gladly," mumbled Pikachu, getting up and walking towards the door. He felt a kick to his rump, and he went flying inside before he could see what was in store ahead of him.
"NOOOOO!!!!" the words lingered, echoing. Pikachu found himself in a clothes store.

« Last Edit: Sept 29, 2007, 7:23pm by §harra Kat »

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